Pressing through the crowd
This song began in a dark hospital room ...
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I was at home with my family when a wave of dizziness hit me; my eyes blurred, my head pounded, my eyes crossed, my lips turned blue, then the vomiting started. I lay down on my bed, confused, disorientated and in the background I heard my wife on the phone to our doctor saying “No matter what, don’t let him fall asleep!” …
That day I almost died when my brain hemorrhaged and again months later from a resulting Hydrocephalus (build up of pressure in the brain). Those months were a blur of airplanes, hospitals, doctors, and horrible decisions … Do you risk taking an airplane (dangerous for brain trauma) for reputable surgery abroad or stay on your island where the risks of a failed surgery are much greater?
I was one of the healthiest people you could meet, and yet I found myself stuck in a bed struggling to frame a coherent thought. It was in this lonely hospital room - feeling like my mind could slip so easily back down a dark void - that the tiny seed of this song was sown. The story of a hopeless woman, who found in Jesus something to hope for became vivid to me. The still small voice of hope, a light to shine in the dark. Through my pain, this song became a deep cry of my soul to keep faith and hold on to God’s goodness - I was not alone in my hospital bed, Jesus was with me. I like to think that His whisper brought this song to my heart (1Kings 19:11-12).
One year later, I recall the doctors words as he looked at my latest MRI results: “It looks like someone’s gone in and performed brain surgery already.” I knew then the Lord had touched me and I was healed.
People are often surprised that my wife and I are not traumatized by these experiences, rather we remember how God carried us and equipped us through it all. We remember the good; those in foreign countries who opened their homes to us, who continually fasted & prayed, those who helped my wife look after our 2-month-old baby, Pastors sneaking into the ICU to pray with me, sisters (suspecting I was underfed) hiding extra food in my pockets for my emergency flight … (leaving the flight-staff bewildered at finding croissants tucked in my shirt). I was supposed to be dying or severely handicapped, yet those days were often full of laughter and love. And through it all we discovered a new depth of appreciation for the precious family of God.
However, there is a side-note for those of us still waiting on God for our healing. My wife, who sings this song with me, has struggled with debilitating illness for the last five years. She cried when she sang “One touch from Him and I am healed…” Because she believes God WILL heal her, the words she sings are a statement of her faith. She says that in the meantime – however long that meantime may be – He will give her the grace to carry on.
Verses that inspired this song:
“…for she said to herself, ‘If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.’ ”- Mat 9: 21
Further reading:
Matt 9: 20-22 | Rom 1: 17 | 1Ki 19: 11-12 | Psa 119: 105 | Psa 27:1 |
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